


shattered like a stained glass window

by Anonymous



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Delusions, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, It's Paranoia But Honestly No One's Helping, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Paranoia, Philza on the Dream SMP, Sad Wilbur Soot, but only if i dont write chapter 2
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-07
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,198
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27431749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Sometimes the obvious solution isn't always the right one.ORPhilza joins the Dream SMP.
Relationships: Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot, KINDA??????, Wilbur Soot & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, the & is platonic obvi but i just wanna claeify
Comments: 11
Kudos: 142
Collections: Anonymous





	shattered like a stained glass window

Phil would have liked to have been given an invitation to the Dream SMP under better circumstances, but, well, troubled times. From what he could suss out from what Tommy had told him, whatever had happened on the server in the time Wilbur had been there, wars and revolutions, a banishment, and more, had finally gotten to him, wormed its way under his skin and sunk in deep He wanted to blow everything up in what, from what Phil understood, was some sort of childish ‘if I can’t have it, nobody can’ last ditch attempt to grab at the dregs of power he could get. Tommy was waiting for him at the spawn of the SMP, staring intently at

“Phil, glad you’re here. Wilbur’s gone crazy, and I don’t know what to do.” The look on Tommy’s face spoke volumes, and Philza told him to lead the way. Despite Tommy’s banishment, they seemed to travel right through the center of the territory into the woods out back

The two walked further into the oak forest, leaves crunching beneath their feet with every step they took. Their route through the forest was circuitous as they hopped on conspicuously placed jumps across the river, over sand and cobblestone pathways and looping around hills. Phil’s eyes widened as a tower loomed in the distance, stone striped with pink. If that was their base, Phil needed to have a talk about what made a base secret.

“Is that—” 

“My intimidation tower! I made it to intimidate people.” Phil was sure the look on his face betrayed his confusion, and Tommy’s grin only confirmed that. “Pogtopia is over here.”

He led Phil to a hill with a hole in front of it, inside which sat a horse.

“Why is there a horse in that hole?”

“That’s where we keep him! Anyways—” Tommy began to brush away the dirt from the wall of the hill, revealing a handmade wooden door that opened with a creak when Tommy pushed it.

The room was small, with a single, undyed bed, some chests pushed up against the wall, a crafting table, and a furnace or two. The only really valuable thing in the room that Phil could see outright was an enderchest. Tommy walked to the back of the room to the top of a roughly-carved spiral staircase (though whether the chunks that made up the spiral could accurately be called stairs was anyone’s guess), and waited for Phil to move further into the room. Phil pulled the door closed behind him as he entered, eyes drifting about the little room. 

“This is… cozy.” Tommy laughed at that.

“You haven’t seen anything yet,” he said, rocking back on his heels. “Follow me.” Tommy began his trek down the right staircase, and Phil followed, their footsteps on the stone echoing through the enclosed space as they moved deeper into the earth. All of a sudden, the staircase entered out into a ravine, clearly built onto with cobblestone landings and supports, wooden walkways along the edges of the wall, and lanterns illuminating the space hanging from chains down into the open ravine. In the walls, Phil could see the occasional hole, which he assumed led to other rooms that those living here had carved out for themselves. The Pogtopians had clearly made do with what little they could get their hands on, and what they had accomplished, when it came down to it, was impressive. The cave looked like some sort of mineshaft, aesthetically pleasing in a rough-hewn, natural sort of way that would give coal miners feel nostalgic. 

Phill hummed approvingly. “Good job, Tommy, I like what you’ve done with the place.” 

“Wilbur did a lot of it,” replied Tommy, not looking at Phil. After a moment, Tommy snapped his fingers in excitement. “I have to show you the Prime Path!” Taking Phil’s hand, Tommy dragged him down the walkways and stairs, past a pit dug into the wall, and into the very bottom of the ravine, where a strip of wood created a pathway leading to where a tunnel stretched off far into the distance. 

“Wow Tommy, that’s certainly something else.” 

“Fucking fantasic, right Big P?” Said Tommy, with an air of pride. “It’s for the Primes.” Phil had no idea what he was talking about, but Tommy seemed pleased, so. Once it seemed like he thought that Phil had had a good look at it, Tommy was moving again, leading Phil to a nearby hole in the wall of the cave, inside which rows upon rows of greenery was visible. 

“Ah, I see Techno has made himself at home.” 

“We live off his potatoes.” 

“J-Just his potatoes?”

“Yes.” There was a long pause as Phil tried to figure out a good response to that, but he figured that they had more pressing problems than their nutritional habits.

“Now that we’re actually here, should we get to business?” 

“Yeah, yeah.” Tommy’s face became deadly serious, a sort of look Philza was very much not accustomed to seeing on the usually cheerful face of the boy. It was with that thought in mind that Phil watched as Tommy cupped his hands to his mouth, calling out at the top of his lungs. “WILBUR?”

“Tommy, I don't think that’s going to—”

“Yeah, what’s up.” Phil nearly jumped as the voice called down from somewhere above them. “Me and Techno are a bit busy right now. Things to do, you know?”

“Just come down here, there’s someone I want you to talk to.” 

There was silence, and for a moment Phil almost thought that Wilbur and Technoblade had just up and left, ignoring Tommy completely, but the sound of boots on stone proved him wrong. He saw the coat before he saw Wilbur, flaring out over the edge of the steps as Wil made his way down to their level. He still hadn't seen Phil, facing away from them as he was, and as Wilbur started to turn, he spoke.

“Tommy, what—” His eyes widened in surprise, dragging over Phil with the air of a startled cat, or a small child caught stealing an extra cookie. Then his brows furrowed with confusion and the slightest hint of suspicion. “Phil? What— What are you doing here?” Behind Wilbur stood Technoblade, who just looked plain confused, and a bit tired.

“Wilbur, you look—”

“Phil, I’m  _ so _ glad you're here.” A little smile was spreading on his face as he approached Phil, an excited sparkle in his eyes that, if Philza didn't know Wilbur, wouldn’t seem mad in the slightest. “There's so much I need to catch you up on! Plus, I was wondering if you’d—”

A loud crack rang through the still air, his arm falling like an axe on a tree, cutting Wilbur off in his tracks. Wilbur’s face bloomed red, his whole head turned all the way to the side by the blow. For a moment, his eyes were wide with shock, face frozen and barely visible as his hair fell over it, casting a dark shadow over his eyes. Philza felt himself snarl, if only slightly. He had a piece of his mind he wanted to give.

“What the  _ fuck _ are you thinking Wil? Blowing up L’Manberg and everyone else with it? That’s not the Wilbur I know. The Wilbur I know isn’t a fucking terrorist.” It was as if the world had turned to tundra, icy and still as a small noise came from where Wilbur stood entirely still, save from the slight tremble in his shoulders. Tommy’s eyes were trained on him, momentarily dumb with shock.

“Is— Is he  _ crying? _ ” Asked Tommy, breaking through the unnatural silence, sounding confused and quiet in a way that he never was.

Almost as if in response, a giggle rose from Wibur’s lips, quiet at first, and almost innocent in tone, soon breaking into laughter— full, belly-shaking laughter that wracked Wil’s body as he threw his head back, face contorted with wretched joy, tears visibly pooling in the corners of his eyes. He steadied himself on the wall of Pogtopia with one hand, the other hand laced through his hair.

“I should have— I should have guessed!” He was still laughing, near doubled over now, words flying fast as he struggled to get them out. “Ohh, I should have  _ known _ you’d betray me just like everyone else, and as soon as you joined too!” 

“Wilbur—” Phil started, but the other man cut him off.

“You don’t even need a reason, do you? None of you do.” Wilbur spread his arms like a ringmaster, teeth bared in wild amusement. “It’s like a game! See how many times you all can betray me before I catch on—Fun for the whole family!” 

“Will, you’re not thinking straight, man.” Phil had clearly underestimated just how bad Wilbur was. There was clearly something really wrong with the man, from his reactions to the way dark purple smudges were clearly visible like bruises under burst-blood vessel eyes.

“Oh, no, no, no, no! I’m thinking more clearly than I have in a  _ long  _ time now. No, no, I get it. I understand.  _ I know! _ You don’t need to pretend any more, not for my sake, please.”

“Wilbur, no, we care about you, we want you to be happy, please, but blowing up L’Manberg isn’t the solution to your problems.” Phil reached out to touch his arm, work-calloused fingers just barely brushing against the grey fabric of Wilbur’s sleeve before the man ripped his arm away, a wolf-mouth snarl painted on his face.

“Don’t  _ lie  _ to me, I’m not a child. I can see it on all your faces, none of you,  _ none of you _ are on my side.” He scoffed, eyes flicking about the space. Technoblade shuffled his feet a little in the background, and picking up on the movement, Wilbur gestured his way. “Technoblade— Now, out of everyone, I expected Techno. I saw that coming. I’m not really sure if I can even call it a betrayal, It’s like trying to leash a wild boar and call it your pet. If it attacks you, that’s on you! Hell, at least he’s being honest with me when he says he just wants anarchy, and I— I can respect that, score for Team Chaos, you know?”

“I’m not sure whether or not I’m supposed to be offended by that, so I’ll take the compliment.” Wilbur’s smile grew at that, and he laughed slightly, a noise that sounded both deeply bitter and strangely euphoric.

“Good, good. Techno, you’re invaluable to me. The TNT—The TNT may not have gone off but you caused so much chaos, you killed  _ so  _ many people, and hey, fireworks are close enough to TNT, aren’t they?” The discomfited expression on Techno’s face may not have been obvious to most, but to Phil, it was clear as day. His shoulders were tense, and he looked away—just barely, for just a second—but for long enough that Wilbur saw it, and smiled. “I may trust you just about as far as I can throw you—which is not at all—but I value your help in my endeavors.”

“Killing everyone— that isn't like you. Wilbur, all this violence and anger, you aren't in your right mind. You need to come to your senses. Please, listen to me, listen to Tommy. There are so many people that care about you, and killing them, destroying L’Manberg, their  _ home _ will hurt them so much”

“What, did you _ really _ think you’d show up and give me one good talking to, and I’d go all ‘Ooh, sorry Dad, I’ll go sit in the time-out corner now and think about what I’ve done’?” Wilbur made an exaggerated frowny-face, then burst into hysterics. “No! No, I won't, because you know what? I  _ know  _ that what I’m doing is bad. I  _ know _ I’m the bad guy, and I'm _ fine _ with that!”

“Wilbur— This isn't who you are, you don't want to do this. Violence is not the answer, and you won't feel better afterwards. It’ll just perpetuate the cycle of violence creating more and more until it spirals out of your control!”

“Look, you can’t stop me. Nothing can. It started when I created Manberg, and its destruction is entirely inevitable. Manberg will burn with— or without— my help or yours. Only  _ fools _ think they can ever be truly control.” 

“Think of all we’ve worked for. L’Manberg can still be saved, we can still take it back, it doesn’t need to be destroyed!” shouted Tommy.

“Ha. I—I know you think that—” Wilbur laughed, a hopeless chuckle. ”But I feel it, every day, the fire licking at my skin, crawling up my arms, every nerve alight with pain. Flames dance behind my eyes every second of every day. I know— I can tell— Even without me, one way or another, everything,  _ everything _ will burn.” He turned on his heel, practically running up the cobblestone steps towards the dug-out hill that Phil himself had come down into Pogtopia through. Tommy went to follow, but Phil pulled him back at the same moment Techno sidestepped to block the stairs up, face impassive.

“Let him go.”

**Author's Note:**

> so i wrote this because i was having feelings about being delusional and paranoid and uh. the clip of phil saying he'd smack wilbur and also how that would probably only make wilbur worse you know?? theres stuff i wanted to put in this that i didnt get a chance to like techno fueling the delusion w the whole chaos thing but like. h.
> 
> also like. can i get a pog in chat for wilbur anthem hand me my shovel i'm going in! by will wood and the tapeworms??? no????


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